Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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