More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
