Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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