what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Randomize
