YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
