Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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