Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
how can u be prego again
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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