and you said cock pushups were impossible
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
