dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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