It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
