i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
