I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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