You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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