There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
should my penis look like a turkey
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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