i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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