I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
where are my eyebrows?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
