Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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