Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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