i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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