sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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