porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
