wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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