It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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