I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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