So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
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