I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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