The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
two words: eviction party
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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