And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
