Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
