Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
