isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
