I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
