You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
