i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
