What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
