Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.

Fav 14 4057 2228
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(201): View more from New Jersey

she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.

Fav 9 828 3178
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(859): View more from Kentucky

Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.

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(601): View more from Mississippi

Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....

Fav 1 678 1170
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.

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(334): View more from Alabama

We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"

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(632): View more from

Cookies and nudity, all you need in life

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(734): View more from Michigan

You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters

Fav 0 102 13
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