I wish you could order shots online.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
