Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.

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(214): View more from Texas

I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream

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(214): View more from Texas

I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.

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(773): View more from Illinois

btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs

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(301): View more from Maryland

I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.

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(519): View more from Ontario

Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?

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(440): View more from Ohio

you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?

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(555): View more from

I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom

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