the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
