Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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