The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
