I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
