Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I understand Curling. That high.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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