Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
