Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
