She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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