So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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