I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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