I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
