the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
