Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
